Deconstructing the Meme

I went to see the Doc yesterday about my bitchy knee. I saw a new Doc in the practice. She asked me how I lost the weight. I just laughed at her and said, “How do you think I did it?”

So, she just looks at my knee, just looks at it and says, “You have patellar tendonitis.” Hmm, well OK it feels like that, is probably that; but I don’t know how she knew by
just looking at it. So I made her touch it, just to make me feel better.

And that was it. Oh, and “Don’t do whatever makes it hurt.”

So, basically, I’m left treating myself. I know my hamstrings and calfs (or is it calves?) are super duper tight. I know my quads look like shit, and they shouldn’t given all the lower body work and running and arc training I do, so I assume underactive. I know for a fact my glutes don’t work. When I was doing kickbacks I was holding at the top and could not even feel the glutes flexing. I don’t know. I can’t seem to get them to kick in. It takes more concentration and maybe strength? than I seem to have. So I guess I shouldn’t even bother trying this:

So, bad knees means limited lower body work. How bad does that suck? Bad. Very bad. Very very very bad!!!! No squats? No lunges? No step ups? No, no, no, no!!!!!!!! You know what else this means? No cardio. Yes! Yes!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!! :)Actually, despite how much I hate cardio, I still need to do it. So, not having anything in my gym for cardio that doesn’t involve too much knee stress makes things a bit difficult. Even more difficult if I’m going to try UD 2.0.

I tried going low carb from Monday - Tuesday dinner. I did it sorta kinda. Not low low carb. More like moderate low carb. I’m usually around 45%. I was at 32% Monday. Including cheat - pizza and brownie sundae (no sugar ice cream) I was still only 46% Tuesday. 3000ish calories but hey who’s counting? Oh yeah, I am!

By Tuesday afternoon I was bitchy and light headed. I need to stay out of the gym when I’m bitchy and lightheaded. I had a super crappy workout out. Went something like this:

Wait 15 minutes for three guys to get done doing their cable crossovers. I was not even going to attempt doing any lower body without getting my activation work in first. No way, no how.

I didn’t know they were 3 teaming. I asked one kid if he was using the pulley he said he was and “It’ll be quick. Only doing 3 sets.” He must be an English major. 3×3 does not equal 3.

I am sooooooooooooooooooo, sooooo, sooooo sick of guys, it’s always the boys, taking over the cables for sometimes 30 minutes at a time (literally) to do crossovers. I mean come on, there are other people who would like to use the equipment. Get some damn dumb bells and a bench!!!!!!!! I betcha if the cables weren’t two feet from the mirror I’d get to use them any time I wanted. Spending too much time in the gym makes me wonder why I like men at all.

OK so I do my stupid useless girly barbie weight why are you doing that activation stuff. I was probably there maybe 6 minutes? After about 4 minutes I’ve got ‘em circling me, closing in, ready to pounce as soon as I bend over to remove the strap.

Then I try to set up for my GBC shitty can’t use my knees workout. I didn’t have a plan going in because I didn’t have time between Dr and gym to work it out. And I’m not real creative on the fly. I’m not real creative period. So, I try some leg presses. They don’t hurt. OK I’ll do those for my 12rep exercise.

Straight Leg Dead Lift 6×105 - coulda gone heavier but I tried 145 and that was to much so, I gotta find a number in between. I was just sick of loading the bar. Plus my knee starts bitching when I squat too low (no rack in my “gym”) which I sorta have to do to load the bar. God. I feel like a cripple!

Leg Press - 12×140 - felt these nicely in the quads! Yay!!

BW Squat for 25. 2nd set I got in 12 before the shin started aching. Dunno why I thought these were a good idea given I can’t even squat to load the bar. I blame in on the low carb thing. I really was ditzy.

After first full set, kid comes over and asks me if I’m using the leg press. I told him I was super setting but that he could work in. I do one quick set, out of order just to get it in and give him time - and I guess because I kinda had a feeling what happened next would happen. Seemingly nice kid, a friend (oops stupid me, gotta double/triple/yeah even sometimes quadruple team every piece of equipment in my gym is the law apparently), proceed to park their asses there for oh I dunno, 15 minutes. Apparently they don’t know what work in means.

Fuck!

Fine. I can’t squat, now I cant leg press, so I might as well just screw this and move on to the next superset.

3x for all:

Ham Curl - 6×80
Back Ext - 12×30
Bridge - 1×25 on bench, 2×25 ball. I think I should stick to the bench. Ball seems to involve more hamstring than I probably need.

Oh and I did an ab workout Monday. Same as the previous. Well, no,

Planks 3×120 sec - these totally totally SUCK without an mp3 player.
Ball Crunch 3×12x15
Horizontal Woodchop 2×12x2 - I don’t know what these plates weigh. I’m thinking they’re 5lbs
Lateral Flex because of course I can’t use the pulley but hey I got in two sets so I should be ecstatic right? 1×12x20

And 30 minutes on the Arc with no music. That was the longest hardest 30 minutes of my life.

I found a copy of UD2 accidentally. So I read it. When I got to the part that I have to do a 50% calorie reduction for 4 days, I cried. I’m going to try it. I’m going to do another week of “maintenance” though. I actually don’t know where that is yet. I’m still losing despite my average daily cals for the last month being nearly 2100. Losing slowly. Still losing though! Down 1% bf. Guess that counts.

So, UD 2.0 is intense. The workouts also are apparently intense. I’m going to give it a try. After I eat some more as suggested for dieters. Though jeez, my metabolism doesn’t seem to be all that sluggish if I’m losing at 2100. Hmm. Well I think I’ll wait till next week anyway just to be safe AND so that I have a chance to plan and shop etc.

OK workout for today. Nothing special.  Couldn’t do cardio because my knee/shin was bitching.

OH I DID A CHIN UP!!!!!!!!!!!!! ( I didn’t even know I could do one.)  I was doing negative pull-ups. After the negs, I tried to do a regular and maybe moved an inch. I’ll try the regular way first next time. Then I switched to chins. I did one negative and then tried a regular and I actually did it!!

Uhm eesh I didn’t write things down, going from bad memory:

Set A
DB Row - 2×6x80 - almost too heavy, probably was, form sucked, not getting full ROM though that may also be due to the fact that the weights are HEEEWWWWGGG!
Incline DB Press - 2×12x60 - just right
Standing Military DB Press - 2×12x eek I forget, it was either 20 or 30

Set B
Low Row - 2×6x9 - too heavy, though the 8 would have been too light.
Push Up (feet on bench) - 2×12xBW
Bent DB Fly - 2×25x10. OMG this killed me. Barbie weight and all I still barely finished.

Despite some intensity, I barely broke a sweat.

Then I did:

Pec Dec - 2×10x35, 1×6x45. I think those were the weights. Jesus. I really suck at this. I know where I put the pin though, so it’s not like I don’t know. I know. I just don’t know what the numbers were!
Reverse Pec Fly - 2×12x30, 1×12x40

I have to keep a workout log. This writing it down on whatever notebook or piece of paper that happens to be within reach just is NOT working. Duh.

And, it gives me a reason to blog/bitch/rant/whine etc.

I’ve been struggling a bit lately. Weight loss began to slow due to too many cheat days - I had 2 in one week - unplanned meal at Cheesecake Factory when Mom came to visit one Saturday. Mom always wants to go out to eat. So, that’s what we did. Hey she paid, can’t pass up a free meal. I had the Mahi Mahi, my favorite fish. I was fine the whole meal, despite all the bread they kept throwing at us and the the guacamole and warm still dripping with oil tortilla chips someone ordered. Then came dessert. To go. WTF??

Had they just eaten it there I would have been fine. But no, they had to bring it home!!!To MY home. Chocolate cheesecake? I love chocolate cheesecake. So, I decided to switch cheat days. I could have just said no. And so that’s what I did. I said no. I said no to cheat day being Tuesday.

Uhm, so, my surgery is scheduled for June 25th. I still want to lose 7-10 more pounds, so far as I can tell. My ass is still a huge lumpy mess. All that weight is sitting on my butt, hips and rear/outter thighs. I’m sick sick sick of looking at it.

I’ve been “dieting” for two years. Although, I’ve only been on a 15-20% calorie reduction since September. Still, I was getting sick of the slow losing and being hungry a bit more often than I cared for. So, this past week I’ve upped the cals, intending to get on maintenance and then finish after the surgery. Well, I haven’t been able to go a week. Well, I have, but this not losing weight thing doesn’t feel right to me. It’s like I have nothing to work toward.

So, I decided to shoot for a figure competition in early November. But the more I think about it, it just doesn’t seem doable given the surgery and needed recovery time OUT of the gym. <cry>

I need to shed more fat. OK want to shed more fat. And yeah absolutely HAVE to lose fat for a figure competition. I could just do as I planned and diet after surgery. BUT, I hate this fat on my ass!! So, I’ve decided to do 4-5 weeks of carb cycling along the lines of the Ultimate Diet 2.0, and then do maintenance for 4 weeks prior to surgery. And yes, I am going to “read the fucking book” as they like to say over on the forums, I just don’t have $40 right now. Literally. That’s what happens when you put money in an account your college student daughter has access to. In her defense, she thought I put the money there for her. I didn’t. So, now I’m about ready to go panhandle.

Anyhoo, I’m still trying to put together a workout program to go along with the eating plan. I need to definately focus on abs/core and my fat freaking ass. I don’t know. I lunge and squat and step up so much that my knees are about to go on strike any day now and still my rear is just a big squishy ugly lump. I’ve backed off anything involving too much tension on the knees this past week. I haven’t stepped on the treadmill in over a week probably. Given the cranky knees and soft butt I think must have glute activation issues, so I’m trying to find ways to correct that. I know it’s not hamstrings. My hams are solid. Perhaps a bit overactive I guess. Maybe quads are a bit under active or just weak. I have to read up some more. I feel like I’m becoming obsessed. All I do is workout or read about working out, diet, nutrition, physiology etc.

So, what workout to do?? I was going to do HST. I tried it for lower but I couldn’t break a sweat. I need to sweat. If I don’t sweat I get cranky. At the time I was also thinking I wanted to go for hypertrophy. After a few days of being a fat ass I decided I want to go back to fat burn for a few more weeks. So, this week maybe has been good just as a break from calorie restriction if nothing else.

Today I tried to do this German Body Composition workout designed by Poilquin. I had some issues finding exercises that fit in terms of my gym setup and equipment, BUT, I really do like this workout much better. I think it should work well with the carb cycling in that perhaps I can get maybe some LBM gain. Maybe.

And, I just like moving heavy weights. I like working to failure. Usually I reach the stick point and just stop. Yesterday, I think for the first time, instead of quitting after I stuck, I stayed and kept pushing for maybe 4 seconds and low and behold, I was unstuck!!!! So, I guess what I though was failure wasn’t failure? Didn’t try another rep after that as it was the last of the set anyway. OK enough mindless rambling dribble no one, including myself, wants to read.

Here’s today kinda messy routine:

Hip Abduction - static - 3×10x1, reps - 1×12x1

Glute/Ham raise - 3×8x7

Set A:
Front Squat (smith) 2×6x60
EZ Bar Squat (wtf this was supposed to be a glute exercise. Didn’t feel like it.) 2×12x50
Flutters - eh, didn’t like this much, 2×25xBW

Set B:
Quad Extension - 1×6x100, 1×6x105 - 105 seems good here
Back Extension - 1×12x30, 1×12x40 - seems like 40 should do it
Lying Ham Curl - 1×25x30, 1×25x40 - even 40 was too light.

So, still gots to tweak. A lot. But I do like this workout. Hard and fast. Just the way I like it!

Oh then I did abs, uhm,

Plank on stability ball - 2×60 sec
Hanging leg raise - 2×10
Horizontal woodchop - 1×12x1, 1×12x2

And 30 min on the Arc Trainer. I couldn’t get my HR up over 155. Gotta remember to do a resting tonight.

I can’t believe it’s been nearly a month since I last blogged. Wow.

As of March 22, 2008 I am a NASM - CPT (Certified Personal Trainer)

That’s one of my goals I can scratch off the list. Next is the job.  I’d originally said by May but things have changed a bit. I’m having surgery that will put me out for a minimum of two weeks.  So, I’m hesitant to start a new job before that. Get hired and a month later need 2+ weeks off? I don’t think so.  Problem is I haven’t been able to schedule the surgery yet. I was planning on June but it looks like that may be pushed back. I’ll know better by next week hopefully. What I will likely end up doing is trying to get some sort of internship prior to surgery and then go for the real job afterwards.

I’m so close to goal. Actually, I’m 1lb from my original goal of 135.  I’ve readjusted. I want 128-130. I’m shooting for 16% body fat.  Or a reduction of cellulite. Whichever comes first is fine by me.  I’m still at 19-20% body fat right now, though I suspect this extra skin around my midsection is upping that number some. The cellulite is now finally starting to become less apparent. Finally.

That said, I feel like I should get on maintenance before the surgery.  I assume my metabolism is a bit sluggish given the 2 year diet? Maybe not given my program but I just want to be sure. The last thing I want is to gain weight. I’m having an abdominoplasty to get rid of all the extra skin that now covers my four pack. It’s there. It’s just hiding. Six pack will come after the surgery.

One consult I went on, before he even examined me he said that I’d need lipo. I told him I didn’t want, nor did I think I needed it.  He said 95% of his patients require it. I was actually offended when the nurse left me in the room with the lipo brochure. I was like huh? Do I look fat? I’m not fat damnit. I’m skinny damnit.
Anyway Doc and I chat a bit. He’s talking about the lipo, reaches over, grabs my hips/waist area and is like ????? and starts feeling around and then said, “You don’t need lipo!”

Yup. I’m skinny. I can’t believe I did this.  I haven’t been this weight in over 20 years. I’ve never, in my entire life, been in this good of shape, and I’m nowhere near where I want to be.

OK, hopefully I will write again tomorrow. I have more to say but right now I have to go eat. I’ve been slacking on the meal timing lately and it’s showing in my LBM numbers.